Discernment: guidelines

One of the questions I get asked a lot (and was asked again today) is this: “How do you know you are hearing God?” How do we discern what God is telling us or how do we discern where God is trying to lead us or how can I discern God’s voice from my own or worse?  Great and important questions. Here are some guidelines to think about…

God wants to lead us, wants us to experience His leading, and wants us to trust Him when He leads. This is just a quick reminder about our expectations.  If we are in a relationship with Jesus, the Holy Spirit is in our lives and so is seeking to counsel, guide, lead us into truth, etc. Expect to hear and expect to be led…

God will always lead us in a way consistent with His Word and character. This is the most obvious and most important thing about discernment.  God is not going to tell us to harm ourselves or to hate others; God is not going to tell us it’s OK to have sex with someone outside of marriage; God is not going to lead us into jobs that make money to support our families in ways that are illegal or unjust.  Such examples would be inconsistent with who God is and what He tells us in Scripture.  However, God may ask us to sacrifice and deny ourselves for the sake of Him or others; God may require us to be completely honest and forgiving and even bless those who hurt us, even if we don’t want to; God may want us to go to unexpected places.  And God will lead us and speak to us in ways that will ultimately produce good fruit, refine and grow character, and experience assurance and peace.  Because these are all things in line with God’s character and promises found in Scripture.  Which means that knowing and studying God’s Word to begin with is a HUGE part of developing an ability to discern…

Know and be honest about your own heart. A big part of discernment is also understanding yourself – your personality, your passions, your dreams, your weaknesses, your fears.  Part of hearing God’s voice is recognizing your own, recognizing those times when what you think you are hearing is actually your own anxiety or hurt or ambition or whatever….

Seek wise, trusted counsel. We live faith as a community.  Part of sharing life as a community is seeking counsel and wisdom from one another.  So when we are struggling with a decision or trying to decide if something is really from God, seek good counsel from trusted Christian friends.  These folks can help us with the previous suggestion too – help us be honest with ourselves about our own hearts…

Withdraw and wait. Be intentional about creating space and time to focus and pray and listen.  And be patient; God leads and speaks in His own time…

Multiple confirmations are the norm. My experience has been that when God wants us to know something, He will make sure we hear it multiple times.  For me, things often are confirmed in “3′s” – 1) prayer/study, 2) friend’s/loved one’s counsel, and 3) something unexpected…

Experiencing assurance and peace. Eventually, this should come.  If it doesn’t…if there is nagging uncertainty or growing dread or unease…then going back and diving more deeply into some of these guidelines again may be needed.  Even if God is leading or speaking in a way that is challenging or surprising, God does not want us to have a spirit of fear or timidity, but rather confidence in Him and assurance of His presence and leadership…

What NOT to say…

When people are really hurting, we often feel the need to say something that will make them feel better…and we often fail miserably and say things that cause further hurt and confusion.  Here are a handful of things I would suggest NOT saying to someone in pain or crisis…

God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Whose to say God “gave” them this hurt or tragedy they are going through?  These words sound spiritual and well-intentioned, but can be very problematic.  And besides, this idea isn’t biblical.  It’s loosely based on a blatant misreading of 1 Corinthians 10:13.  In the passage, the writer is talking about temptation, not trials and suffering (I encourage you to go read it and then stop misquoting)…

It must be God’s will. This is always easier for us to say when it’s not our pain.  And it’s not a very good or accurate picture of God because God would never “will” or desire some of what we experience…

Everything happens for a reason. These words imply that everything happens for God’s reasons (aka…it’s God’s will).  And this is just wrong.  The reason a drunk driver kills a family in a car accident is because the drunk driver was stupid and irresponsible.  Terrible suffering as a result of war and poverty occurs for reasons that have nothing to do with God’s purposes but rather human greed and pride and indifference and other things…

I know how you feel. Unless you’ve actually gone through the very same thing – one abused woman to another, for example – don’t even pretend to know what it’s like in someone else’s shoes….

It’s for the best. Really?

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. While there may be some truth to this in the long run, it’s just not helpful for someone in the midst of crisis or pain.  This is something for people to claim for themselves in hindsight…

When we say things like these words above, we say them oftentimes because we are uncomfortable and don’t know what else to say…in other words, to make ourselves feel better….

So what do we say?  The best response is often to simply be present with someone during difficult times and listen when they need to talk.  Sometimes, it’s best to say little or nothing at all…rather, just be there…love on people and help them in practical ways to live hour to hour, day to day, through the pain they are experiencing…

Face to Face vs. Facebook

I remember that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach…a sense of dread that I should not have just clicked “send” on that email.  But it was too late; it was gone…on its way through cyberspace to someone on the other end, someone I was deeply frustrated with.  Even in those first few moments after the “click”, I already had a feeling of regret and remorse, feeling like that might not have been the best thing to do…

Do you know this feeling?  That sinking in your stomach, the doubt and regret and remorse?  That sense of  ”I’m not sure I should have sent that”?

I’ve been reminded this week of how difficult it is to try and work out differences, talk about sensitive things, deal with difficult situations through facebook or email or texting.  It is just so easy to misinterpret someone’s tone, misunderstand someone’s intention, misread (or read into) something that is or isn’t there.  Of course we still try the on-line method because we don’t like confrontation, and we rationalize by saying that sending an email or facebook message enables us to choose just the right words without the unpredictability of the face-to-face talk…

But that is just it – the unpredictability, scary though it may be sometimes, is what makes the talk genuine and then (hopefully) the results more authentic and real.  People can see in our face and hear in our tone how we are really feeling, and that makes a big, big difference…

And btw, trying to address things via a status update or wall posts or other facebook things in public view…good things just don’t come from that usually…

So please don’t click “send” unless it’s an invitation to get together face to face.  And even then, it’s probably better to actually call…

Judging others, continued again…

So here is the final installment of the “judging others” series.  After my message on judging others a few weeks ago, I received a number of questions from students.  Here’s the last one: So what do you do when the other person doesn’t realize they have a plank in their eye?

OK, another good question.  Before going any further, let’s remember the passage I was originally discussing…Matthew 7:1-5.  Jesus commands us not to judge others and then uses the analogy of how we can’t see clearly the speck in our neighbor’s eye when we have a plank in our own.  So the first thing to say to this question is that Jesus is really talking about our planks, not our neighbor’s.  That’s important to realize, and I’ve discussed these more at length in my previous two “judging” posts…

That being said, there are certainly situations in our lives when we are very frustrated because someone around us has a huge plank – an addiction, a bad and hurtful habit, a personality issue, a character flaw, etc. – that they either cannot see or simply refuse to see.  And it is hurting people, including the person with the plank…

I have some experience with this, both in my personal life with friends and family, as well as in the life of a community of believers.  And here is the long and short of it….at the end of the day, people have to see – and be willing to deal with – their own planks. You can confront someone, by yourself and with others; you can pray (and should pray) often; you can even attempt some more dramatic interventions (and I’ve been involved with a couple of those).  But if someone doesn’t want to admit and deal with a problem, they won’t.  That’s just the bottom line…

Which means you have to make a decision about protecting yourself from getting whacked over and over again with the plank.  At some point, if someone refuses to see and deal with an issue that is hurting you and others…you have to make the decision to turn away from that person and their plank….

The hope is that God may use your decision to grab the person’s attention so dramatically that a process of transformation begins to happen.  And God does that sometimes. That is what we hope for and pray for…

But ultimately, our planks are between God and the person staring back at us in the mirror.

Halloween at our house…

The boys in our family went to the library yesterday.  Bored with the art festival Amber was enjoying, we walked next door to return our overdue books and check out some more.  The boys gave their books to the guy behind the counter and hurried over to the kid’s section.  Gabe quickly picked out two titles…”Vampires” and “Monsters.”   Both were on display prominently along with many other horror and creature-themed children’s books.  I told him no.  After a brief protest, he picked out something from the Goosebumps series and a “Choose-your-own-adventure.”  We then played a game of checkers, helped Michael pick out a couple of titles, and returned to the festival to find mommy.  We wanted to get home and watch the Gator game…

Later that evening, we spent some time as a family carving a pumpkin.  Actually, after about 15 minutes of slimy pulp and biting bugs, others moved on while Daddy finished up.  Then after dinner, Amber took the boys to a party hosted by the family of Gabe’s best little friend at school.  Gabe was a pirate…Michael was spiderman…and Amber even put on a cape and a batman mask.  This afternoon, we will all go to a family fun event at church with games and prizes and sweets.  No scary costumes allowed, by the way.  And then after a few visits to homes in our neighborhood, we will spend the rest of the evening being friendly with whoever happens to ring the bell in hopes of some candy…

Should Christians “celebrate” Halloween?  My experience has been that a lot of Christians (and even those who are not) have strong opinions on this question.  A simple google search provides a wealth of information on the the origins and development of the holiday, so I won’t summarize that here.  It’s interesting reading though if you want to check it out…

For me personally, I am not as bothered and don’t feel as strongly as some others do.  Families and churches with strong objections to Halloween…and who oppose any semblance of observance…are of course entitled to feel that way.  I sincerely appreciate their conviction…

My hope is that the are equally vigilant the other 364 days of the year…

I’m not going to take my stand on getting dressed up with his classmates at school and indulging in sweets and having some family fun getting messy with a pumpkin.  I actually appreciate the chance Halloween offers to interact with people in my neighborhood who I rarely interact with otherwise.  Instead, I’m going to say no to vampire-themed, “non-age-appropriate” books at the library…

In addition to glorifying violence and evil in general terms, our culture does have a fascination with darkness and the occult.  TV shows and countless movies and books – often aimed at young people – attempt to make witchcraft and “creatures of the night” and other such things seem mainstream, edgy, and cool….or even fun, romantic, and life-giving.  Examples of this fascination abound: the Twilight Series, True Blood on HBO, the “Saw” movie series and countless other horror films, etc., etc.  And in my experience, many Christians – including parents – are not particularly discerning in how they consume or allow themselves to be exposed to much of what the culture offers.   The saturation of violence in video games and other media….kids who are Gabe’s age and younger seeing movies like The Dark Knight…Christian young adults among the throngs rushing to movie theaters to see gory horror flicks or downloading the latest hip-hop lyrics denigrating women…and the list goes on and on…

It seems to me that the real danger lies not in an annual costume-wearing event and consuming lots of candy from strangers; rather, it is how desensitized we become to violence, sado-masochism, exploitation of and brutality against women, mystical figures of evil seeming harmless, and any number of other things when we continually consume these images and values and let them seep into our consciousness and the minds of our young people…

My boys are going to learn that evil is real, that there are people and other things in the world that will hurt them if they are not careful, that they need to be discerning about what they read and see and think about.  We will talk someday about the occult and the dangers that lie there.  When they are older, we will have conversations about real monsters and real demons and real ways that evil hurts people in the world…including our oftentimes un-reflective commitments to injustice and militarism and violence and materialism.  And they won’t learn this stuff from unsupervised consuming of the media and our culture and what these have to offer…they will learn it from me as a Christian parent who is committed to preparing them to live in this world.

In the meantime, spiderman costumes and candy and meeting our neighbors will be OK.  But vampire books will not.  And while Gabe can dress up as Captain Jack from Pirates of the Carribean…I’m still not going to let him see that movie until he’s older…

Judging Others, part 1…

So this is the first in what will be several posts on the topic of “judging others”.  This was our topic at community night (our on-campus gathering at FIU) on Monday, and I told the students I would take questions and blog responses.  But before I take on the questions in future posts, I’ll share an abbreviated version of the talk I shared…

Judging others – and ourselves – is something we are all guilty of at times.  And it is a huge and complicated subject.  Statistics indicate that many people in our culture…including a significant majority of young adults…perceive Christians and the church to be judgmental.  Unfortunately, we give people lots of good reasons to feel this way, in spite of some clear words from Jesus and others in Scripture warning us against judging others (Matthew 7:1-5 is a well-known example).  We in the church have much to confess and often don’t do a very good job being honest about that…

But judgment cuts both ways.  Christians are often judged unfairly as well.  Believing in an authority higher than ourselves and the particular philosophies that we create, knowing that the human heart is a factory for the creation of idols, and then proclaiming that there are in fact some God-given boundaries for human desire and behavior…that is simply being authentic to who we believe we are created and called to be as human beings and followers of Jesus.  And where that brings us into opposition with the world and its values…well, a true commitment to tolerance would include space for Christians and the church to be authentically who we are as well…[again, that authenticity needs to include a much more radical understanding and embodiment of the great command to love our neighbor...but that discussion will have to wait for another day]…

The other thing that makes this subject complicated is that followers of Jesus are actually instructed to pass judgment at times (1 Corinthians 5:9-13 is an interesting example).  We are supposed to discern and deal with wrongdoing and immorality within the body of Christ.  And Scripture gives us instructions for how to do this (Matthew 18:15-20 is the best known passage).  But how and where and when do we draw these lines and make these discernments???   The reality is that most Christians and most Christian communities don’t do this very well.  People generally don’t like confrontation, lack wisdom and sensitivity, and are oftentimes not very self-aware.  And so what often happens is we throw around platitudes like “love the sinner, hate the sin”, but rarely do the difficult work of real accountability and reconciliation…

So given all of that, here is a humble attempt at a few guidelines or principles on this subject (and the heart of what I shared with the students the other night)…

Judgment of others is ultimately God’s job, not ours. To judge rightly, we have to know the whole story – the motivations and intentions of all involved, a full understanding of the entire circumstances, and everything that led that person and that situation to that particular moment or choice or action that we are presuming to judge.  Clearly, God is the only one who has such knowledge.  And so while we certainly have to make decisions about how we will act or react and what our relationship with particular people will be going forward based on what we know and can discern….we need to be very, very careful about passing judgment upon others.  Character assessments are often caricatures that arise out of our own limited vision and own personal faults.  God knows all hearts and all things, and so ultimately God will sort these things out…

And by the way, this idea of judgment being God’s job is especially true when thinking about the question of salvation and who is “in” or “out” in God’s kingdom, now and forever.  Christians are often WAY too quick and glib in thinking and talking these things.  God is certainly holy and righteous, and Scripture clearly talks about the importance of faith and receiving the gift God offers to us….but God is also infinitely more compassionate and gracious and patient and persistent in sharing His love with others than we are…

Embrace people, avoid sin, and seek holiness. One of my favorite stories in the gospels is in John 8:2-11, a story of Jesus’ response to a woman caught (entrapped by the religious leaders) in adultery.  This is where Jesus famously says “you who are without sin cast the first stone.”  Jesus confronts the hypocrisy of those gathered, has compassion (not condemnation) for the woman, and then invites her into a new way of life (“go, and from now on, do not sin anymore”).  Beautiful and creative response in a great story about a difficult circumstance.  If we could manage to stay in relationship with people…live more holy lives that serve as an example to others around us, rather than be hypocrites…and then invite people into a new – more holy, and much better way of life – that would be beautiful as well…

Deal with our own “planks”. In Matthew 7:1-5 mentioned earlier, Jesus gives this famously absurd image of trying to deal with the speck in someone else’s eye when there is a huge plank sticking out of your own.  The point is well made and should be well considered.  There are too many examples to share from my own life when I and others have been blinded by our own issues and anger and other things to see anything clearly, much less to see clearly enough to do the delicate work of confrontation and accountability.  This plank removal idea is hugely important.  It’s sort of like how whenever someone speaks at 12-step meetings, they always begin with “my name is _____ and I am an alcoholic (or whatever else)”.  Before one can presume to speak, one must understand one’s own self and struggle.  Much judgment and hurt could be prevented if we were all better at looking in the mirror of our hearts and doing some eye surgery of our own…

Responses to specific questions to come in the next few posts…

Time Management

I missed an event last night I was planning to attend.  It was a panel discussion on campus, and Wesley was a cosponsor.  I had no official role, so except for a few students who probably went and who probably thought I was going to be there, I doubt I was missed…

So why didn’t I go?  Time management.  You see, yesterday morning as she was leaving the house, my wife and I had a “married moment” over the fact that the dishes hadn’t been done from dinner the night before.  She left the house frustrated with me, and I was frustrated that she was frustrated.  Later in the morning, she sent me a facebook message apologizing [that should be a clue - a facebook apology between spouses?  hmmm....]…

Of course it wasn’t just about the dishes.  It has been a busy time around the Massingill household lately.  February started to get busy with the Love Campaign and hosting a visit from my boss, followed by trips to Lakeland and then Bradenton for work commitments.  March began with a (wonderful) family trip to the Bahamas for a wedding, followed immediately by spring break service projects and then a cub scout campout.  Then I went overnight to Orlando for another work commitment, which led immediately into Holy Week – always a busy time for pastors, especially when hosting visitors [we had family in town for 5 days, including Easter weekend; good visit].  This in the midst of the regular routine of Amber pastoring a church, me on multiple campuses each week, Gabe doing school and piano and scouts and sports [and our involvement in these], and basic life stuff like taxes and laundry and car repairs and etc., etc.

Which brings us to the present.  On Tuesday, after my folks left, Amber and I started talking about the calendar for the next several weeks.  My portion included work trips to Orlando and Gainesville in the next two weeks…after 4 evening commitments in five days, beginning with last night’s event on campus.  Oh yeah…I’m also guest preaching Sunday for a colleague who had a death in the family and unexpectedly stepping into some work responsibilities this month I wasn’t planning on having to do…

So as you can see, our married moment wasn’t really about the dishes…it was about the calendar.  It was about our family time management…

So last night turned into a family night.  We put away the laptops and phones, played the Wii together, ate leftovers, took a family walk in the park, got the boys to bed, and then curled up in front of the TV with a movie.  Good times…

Time management is really, really important…and it’s something that many of us aren’t very good at.  So here are some quick lessons I’ve learned in this area that I try and live by…

Take responsibility for your time. The first and most important thing about time management.  It’s my life and my time and how I spend it is my responsibility.   There are very few things that are imposed on us; most of our commitments are things that we choose.  Even our “big picture” decisions like work and school are things we choose and say yes to, so we need to own that.  Everything else flows from this…

Say “no” to some things – and stick to it. There is never a lack of good causes or fun things or even ways to waste time.  But there are some things that are more important than others.   If you spend 20-25 hours a week playing video games and watching Lost, the Office, Idol, and other shows…then it’s hard to claim you don’t have time to finish class assignments.  If I spend several hours a week going to meetings and lectures that might be interesting but really don’t directly pertain to my job responsibilities…and then I don’t fulfill my job responsibilities….that’s a problem.  Set priorities, make decisions, and then have the discipline to spend your time well…

Understand your limits. I have always had a tendency to overwork and overextend, so this is an area I’ve really had to work on.  What I’ve learned is that overextension almost always results in nothing being done well.  That reflects poorly on me and isn’t fair to those I’ve made commitments to.  I’ve learned that “under-promising” and then “over-delivering” is much better than the other way around…

Plan ahead. Occasionally, things sneak up on us and emergencies happen.  Occasionally, kids get sick and work commitments appear suddenly.  Occasionally.  Most of the time, we procrastinate and then panic.  As I student, I took procrastination to extreme levels.  I wrote a two semester college honors thesis in seven weeks; I don’t think I wrote a paper in seminary that I didn’t start- and finish – the night before.  And in conversations with my students, I know procrastination is still alive and well.  But that is our fault.  Most deadlines in our lives and most things on the calendar, we know about in plenty of time.  For example, I’e been working out our summer family schedule – travel and childcare and other things – for several weeks now because I know come June 9th, Gabe and Michael are out of school but Paul and Amber are still working and a plan needs to be in place.  Anyway, planning ahead ensures we have the flexibility to respond to the surprises when they come up…

Don’t cheat your loved ones. A wise man once told me that I’m the only person who can be father to my boys and husband to my wife.  True that.  We often sacrifice our relationships for our work (or other things) for all kinds of reasons.  None of them are good reasons.

Set boundaries and don’t waste time. We have to do this, and it varies from person to person.  For me, I’m in the car a lot, so I try and make that time productive.  I pray, make phone calls, think about sermons or blogs, and am going to start listening to podcasts.  I have intentionally not put the facebook app on my phone, decided not to play fantasy sports, and don’t play video games unless I’m playing the Wii with Gabe…

John Wesley, the father of Methodism, is famous for his commitment to time management.  He would log all of his daily activities in a journal and developed a shorthand method for doing so.  While I have no desire or intention of being that obsessive, his example makes this point: time management is a matter of personal faithfulness.  Time is precious…holy even.  How we spend it should be as well…

Catching Up

I spent most of today catching up on finances, both personally and for the Wesley ministry.  I sent a few emails an several texts, did some laundry and dishes, picked up the boys, met a student for dinner, and did a few other things as well; but the bulk of my day was spent sitting in front of my laptop with the checkbook and a pile of receipts, recording transactions and paying bills and making sure things are financially in order…

It wasn’t exciting stuff.  But it needed to get done.  If bills don’t get paid, things get turned off or fees and penalties start to add up.  If spreadsheets aren’t created and updated and double-checked, then expenses get lost and budgets become muddled and soon monies are not accounted for properly.

So just a short word of encouragement for anyone reading this today who is just tired of the day to day tasks – stick to it.  Whether it’s housework or homework, make it meaningful.  I don’t particularly like spending several hours catching up on money matters.  But I do like knowing that the ministry is being faithful with the resources we have been blessed with, and I do appreciate knowing for sure where we as a family stand financially.  Oftentimes when we neglect the daily or regular “little things” and fail to be faithful in these areas, they grow or fester or get complicated or begin to overwhelm us.  We get behind and can’t get caught up.  Then things can get ugly…

Boy Trouble

I got on facebook tonight and started chatting with one of the female college students I know.  It didn’t take long, and she was venting about a boy.  And I use that word intentionally…a 28 year old boy.  In the few minutes we went back and forth, it was clear to me that she was wasting her time with a guy who wasn’t being honest with her.   I advised her to move on, that she deserved more than to be a back up for a liar; she agreed, but she felt like she just wanted to understand how he could do one thing and say another….

These kinds of conversations are not new to me.  I’m a big brother with younger sisters; I’ve always had female friends; I’ve worked with youth and young people and singles; and now I hang out with college students. Relationships are well-covered territory for me.  I’ve had LOTS of conversations with young women who are hurting because they have tried to give their heart to a boy who was not ready to truly care for it.   And of course, I don’t want to suggest it’s just boys that cause trouble, because girls cause their share of trouble in relationships as well.  So since we are on the subject, let me just offer a few words on these matters of the heart…

If he/she is not honest, end it….period. Relationships are built upon trust, and trust begins with being able to believe the words that are coming out of someone’s mouth.  If someone can’t be trusted, then there is nowhere to go…

Do not be careless with your words. People – young people especially – are way too careless with using words like “love” and other language of the heart.  Words are powerful; don’t make a promise you are not ready to keep, and don’t use a word like love until you are prepared to live up to it…

Guard your heart; save your body. Being guarded with your heart is not only OK but recommended.  You shouldn’t be completely open and vulnerable with someone until you are deeply invested in a relationship with them.  Sharing too much too soon may feel like genuine intimacy, but it’s not.  And your body?  You can’t take back what you’ve already done.  Hooking up is just two people being selfish and irresponsible.   Generally speaking, guys use “love” (words of affection, deeds of kindness, etc.) to get sex; ladies use sex to get the “love” of emotional closeness they crave.  Both people end up using each other to get what they want…

He/She won’t change for you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve counseled people who were holding out hope for someone to change.  Change is between the person, the mirror, and God…

Don’t settle. Know what you want in a person, and do not settle…

That is just a short list.  But I probably didn’t need to even share all of that.  Here is the real secret to relationships.  Stop looking for the right person; BE the right person.  Seek God, become the person He desires for you to be, and trust Him to bring the right person into your life. Adopting that philosophy will clear up a whole lot of boy trouble (or girl trouble) in a hurry…  

Time and Money

There is a quote I’ve used several times in sermons, even though I can’t remember who said it or where I first heard it.  The quote is simply this: “If you want to see what’s really important to someone, take a look at his/her checkbook register and personal calendar.”  The language may be a bit outdated; now it might need to read “check out their online statement and blackberry.”  But the idea still rings very true…

I remember these words on a fairly regular basis.  I thought about them the other day when I heard a friend – who very sincerely and passionately considers himself a friend of the poor – say that he used to spend time with the homeless but now is too busy.  The words ring in my ears whenever I get texts with explanations for why my students can’t come to Bible study today.  Or when a colleague describes the amount of time and energy she is spending developing construction plans and capital campaigns and wishes she could be spending more time with people…

I certainly don’t mean to throw stones at friends or students or colleagues.  I’m reminded all the time of the significance of this measure in my own life.  The mild disgust I feel when I realize I’ve sat in front of the TV late at night watching a movie I’ve seen 4 times already…when I could have been reading or praying or sleeping or even doing the dishes.  The mild angst that rises up in me each time I balance the family checkbook, seeing several withdrawals for cash and knowing the sodas and snacks and fast food on campus that represents…. when it could be used for healthier food and more meaningful purposes.  My iphone calendar includes a lot of hanging out with students and several parenting commitments…but not so much appointments set aside to get to know my neighbors or the homeless guy who hangs out around our church…

Lost or wasted time is something we never get back.  Money can do incredible good and also encourage incredible self-indulgence.  Both can make a profound difference in the lives of family, friends, and strangers if we use them wisely.   Something to think about…regularly…